An Interview with Tatenda Ngwaru
On December 5, 2019, Zimbabwean intersex activist, Tatenda Ngwaru spoke with Eric Smith of The Fletcher Forum of World Affairs regarding her activism and asylum process in the United States.
FF: How did you become an activist in Zimbabwe?
TN: I became an activist when I realized my condition of being intersex was a topic that was rarely touched on in [Zimbabwe] and was regarded shamefully. Children are born intersex—it is not anybody's choice. I couldn't figure out why this should be kept secret. It's who I am, and I wanted everybody who is intersex like me to stand in their truth and be proud of who they are. I realized that I had to make a decision to not only speak for myself, but to be a voice for others, too.
FF: What was the dynamic of support in Zimbabwe?
TN: At first, my parents were not very supportive of me getting out into the world and telling others who I am. They've always loved me very much, but they used to say to me, "you don't have to tell the world, just be who you are here at home." I felt like I was in prison because they were pressuring me not to say my identity to the world. They knew it was going to be tough and they were right. People in my community bullied me a lot, laughed at me, made up all sorts of stories about me all because they were ignorant and did not understand what intersex is.
FF: Can you tell me about the organization you started in Zimbabwe? How did the government react to it?
TN: I started an organization called True Identity because I wanted to reveal my true identity and for others to feel like they could reveal themselves. I wanted to promote the rights of intersex people. The government did not respond directly to me, but it was known in the community that if they hurt me, nothing was going to happen to them legally. That's why it feels like the government supports people who bully, physically harm, and beat people up. When those things happen, the police do not do anything about it. So, the government did not target me directly, but it was all these things that were happening that made me realize that the government did not support me.
FF: What led you to leave the country?
TN: A lot of things happened...primarily being physically and verbally attacked on the streets just for being who I am. I was being accused of bringing "Western culture" to people's minds, and my argument was, "how is this Western culture? I wasn't born in the West, I was born here." There are so many people like me, why do they think this is a "white people problem"? Also, some men would want to rape me, saying, "you need to prove yourself to us, since you call yourself a woman." This made me realize that my life was in danger, and I decided to leave.
FF: Why did you choose to come to the United States?
TN: Ah, America—when I was growing up and watching TV, I saw New York as the city to go to because it looked like the city of dreams. When I saw Obama [elected as] the first black president while I was still in Zimbabwe, it gave me hope about the country and its possibilities. Also, on TV, I saw transgender people being given TV jobs and being celebrated. I thought, “if I'm intersex, then clearly they're going to celebrate me too, because this is a country that accepts everybody.” I didn't know the politics and the struggles LGBT people faced. I had a rude awakening after getting here because I didn't realize the difficulties of moving your whole life to another country. I had to apply for asylum and wait for work authorization. Most times I was homeless, and it was really hard.
FF: How have you found the asylum process to be?
TN: It is such a battle applying for asylum, and even as I speak to you, it has not been granted to me. I applied when I came to America in 2016. It is still pending; they have a backlog. This backlog happened even when President Obama was in charge, and it was happening to presidents before him. Now, with a new president, it has gotten even worse.
FF: How have you kept up your activism in the United States?
TN: I have tried to do my activism through the media because I've realized how powerful it is. I've been trying to reach out to platforms so I can talk about my story through TV interviews; however, I have not been very successful in that area. I believe that seeing is believing for so many people, and if I can get those chances of being on TV and talking about my story and showing my different talents, people would ask, "who is she?" It has been a challenge trying to get those media interviews, but I still pitch each day.
FF: What is the message you want to send about your work and about being intersex?
TN: I want people to know that being intersex is not shameful—it is biological. It is nobody's choice. We are human beings who need to be celebrated just like everybody. We are not celebrated, and that is something that we want to see. I also want people to know there are infants, babies, and they're having unwanted surgeries from doctors that are convincing parents to do this before they get to grow up and choose who they are. I want there to be a delay in surgeries that are happening because I have so many intersex friends who have had unwanted surgeries and feel like they have been robbed of a choice. They feel like the organ they were left with is not the choice they would have made. There are also so many consequences that they are living with because of the surgeries. I also want people to know that being intersex is not the only thing that we are all about. I'm a woman who has talents and brains, and I want to be allowed to showcase that so that people can see I am beyond just being intersex.
FF: How do you see other portions of your identity play out? How does being a black woman in the United States affect your day to day?
TN: The color of my skin has affected so many things. There are times when white intersex persons, when they knock on a door and want to share their story or reach out to the world, are allowed to. I reach out to the same people and I get a no. Being black, being an immigrant, and being intersex—it feels like the government was built to destroy someone like me. It feels like there are boundaries that are preventing me from achieving any greatness, but I have chosen to rise from that.
FF: How do you find that power to rise?
TN: I'm a woman of faith, and I pray for strength. Sometimes, I fail to get out of bed due to the pain of my predicament, but I pray a lot and I get inspiration from my other intersex friends, sisters, and brothers. I also get strength from the love that I get from my parents, which is why I made a documentary. I wanted people to see the relationship between my parents and me. That foundation is what keeps me going because I know those are the people who love me unconditionally, and that is the best thing that could happen to anybody. I want parents to know that when they love a child, that child will be limitless.
Tatenda Ngwaru is a Zimbabwean intersex activist and asylum seeker. She is the founder of True Identity, the first intersex organization in Zimbabwe that promoted community awareness of intersex issues and advocated for the dignity, rights, and well-being of the LGBTQI community. In addition to writing for Shondaland, The Huffington Post, Vogue, and The Root, Ngwaru is also the subject of the documentary She’s Not a Boy, which earlier this year was an official selection at Wicked Queer: The Boston LGBT Film Festival. She also has a website promoting her work.
Image: Poster/Cover image of the documentary “She’s Not a Boy'“ about Tatenda Ngwaru
